The Journey to loving myself.

Hello Cheekies! 

It’s  Sam,

This post today took a lot of courage for me to muster up. I’m going to talk to you guys about my weight loss transformation. This post isn't to convince you to lose weight; this post is about loving yourself. 

Growing up I had always had weight issues, when I was younger my family would brush it off by saying, “Oh its baby fat; you’ll grow out of it.” Or “You’re just big boned.” Those were said to me so I wouldn't be self-conscious as a child.  Those words shouldn't have been said to me as a child. I didn't know I had a weight issue until those were said to me. That’s when my self-confidence started to crumble. 

My weight didn't really bother me until I was in Middle school. I was far heavier than all my friends. In the summer time I would hide under a towel while my friends would swim in their bikinis. The only form of exercise I had at the time was competitive swimming. I was really good at it too! I probably would have lost a lot weight if I didn't get McDonald's milkshake after each practice which was three days a week. At School  I felt like such an outcast. I would cry myself to sleep almost every night while I was in middle school just wishing and praying that I would wake up and be thinner. Each morning I woke devastated because I was the exact same. 

In ninth grade, I was pushing 170 lb. Now  170 pounds is not a lot but for my stature and body frame it was a lot. I’m only 5’ 1” so  being  170 pounds  was not healthy. I was borderline over weight. I wore XL shirts and size 16 pants. By this stage in my life, I hated myself. I was depressed, I was lonely. Now when I say I was lonely I don’t mean that I didn't have friends. I had a lot of friends but they had no idea what I was going through. When I would bring it up they would brush it off and say “You’re not fat” or “You are just over reacting.” So I felt so alone.  

(This was me in ninth grade 2009 at 170lb). 

It wasn't until I was in 11^th grade that I finally decided to do something about my weight. I was still about 170 pounds give or take a few. I was tired of being unhappy and absolutely hating myself. I was tired of spending hours in front of the mirror just picking out every flaw. So I started working out at Curves. After about a month a curves, I dropped two whole Pant sizes. It was one of the happiest moments I had in a long time. I could finally buy new jeans! Yay! I kept at curves every day. I soon joined a strength training class that really kicked my ass. The first day I did it, I threw up! (Gross). But the way my muscles felt the next day was sadistically rewarding.  I continued with that class and about a month of that I was down to a size 13 Pants! I was so excited. I was starting to feel confident. And eventually me and the Lady that taught the class had personal training sessions. After several months of hell and serious mental abuse from my trainer I was finally down to 142!  About a thirty Pound weight loss in a year, I was so excited.

 In 2012 I soon decided  I had reached my limit of weight loss with curves. A few things came up and it just wasn't going to work. So then I decided to buy Jillian Michael's Thirty day shred and workout in the comfort of my living room. And It definitely shredded my ass. It was so hard and even though she was on TV, she was still scary as hell.  About a month of that I had lost another Ten pounds. I was at about 130 YAY! I felt so good. I was in a size 9/10 pant.  I felt pretty which was a first in six years. I lessened my workouts because I was so caught up in the last bit of my senior year, ranging from an extremely lame prom to a lame graduation but I did maintain my weight.

(This is right before Chums and I very lame prom in April 2012, at about 132lb)

Summer had finally come, I still wasn't in a bikini but I did feel a lot better about my appearance. College was coming and I wanted to pick up exercising again so I wouldn't  gain the freshman 15. So I did Yoga three times a week. YOGA IS HARD! But very relaxing.  I didn't lose any weight but I toned up a lot. I was now in a size 7/8. Whoop Whoop. I couldn't remember a time when I was that size. It had been so long. 

School has taken a lot of my precious time with its annoyance and homework. So I really didn't workout much these last two semesters. But recently I started walking up our local mountain with my mother. I’m now at 125 pounds. I wear a Medium in Shirts, and a 6/7 in pants. HELL YESS!   I still want to tone up for the summer and finally wear a bikini which is something I haven’t been able to do since I was six.  But the important thing is I LOVE MYSELF NOW! Looking back there were so many times where I should have done something but I think the way this has happened has taught me so much. I finally made myself Proud. 

This is me today, 125 Lbs! 

I never imagined ever getting to this point but I just want to say. I DID IT! If you feel like losing weight is what you need to do then I just want to say You can do it. It's not impossible. Impossible really just says I'm Possible. I just want you guys and others to love yourself. I've spent so much of my life hating myself, missing out on fun activities because I was scared of judgement. I do NOT want you guys to feel like that ever. So do what ever makes you happy and love yourself.

I might have spent the last 8 years miserable and hating myself but I still have the rest of my life to be happy and to love myself.

So Cheekies that was a summary of my journey to loving myself. If you have any questions or anything at all comment or just email me, the email is in the contact tab.  

Stay Cheeky Our Loves,
Love Yourself. You are Beautiful